best of 2014.

I have been trying to come up with something to say about this year and I keep finding myself failing. The events of the recent months and weeks have made it tempting to look back at 2014 and see nothing but darkness. That would be one way to choose to think about the past 12 months. I could choose to let the injustice, the anger and the sadness overshadow the great relief that was the completion of my master's degree or the small joys of family vacations or the answer to prayer that was full-time employment. 

Then I start thinking about choice. It's something I talk about with the people I work with on a daily basis. The power of choice. The paradox of choice. The freedom of choice. Choice seems to be the one thing that is granted to all of us, even in moments when it seems there are no options. We've spent a lot of time judging other people's choices. How would you choose to react if you felt your life was in danger? What would you choose if someone was threatening your family? How do you determine what sort of milk to purchase? What is the best thing to say in this situation? How am I supposed to feel about that?

Having the time to think about what music I listen to and why is a luxury. That is not lost on me. Having the time to type about it, to make lists, to consider what qualifies an album for such lists feels more wasteful now than ever before. I have three kids at home. I work six days a week. There is always something to do. Do I feel guilty about choosing to write about music this week? Yes. I feel guilty about everything. That's a choice.

Here are 50 other choices I've made:

50. Anjou - Anjou
49. The Preatures - Blue Planet Eyes
48. How to Dress Well - "What is This Heart?" 
47. Caribou - Our Love
46. Perfume Genius - Too Bright

45. Interpol - El Pintor
44. Ricky Eat Acid - Three Love Songs
43. MØ - No Mythologies to Follow
42. Aphex Twin - Syro
41. Flying Lotus - You're Dead! 

40. Shabazz Palaces - Lese Majesty
39. La Sera - Hour of the Dawn
38. Wara from the NBHD - Kidnapped 
37. Warpaint - Warpaint
36. Millie and Andrea - Drop the Vowels

35. Future Islands - Singles
34. The Roots - ...and Then You Shoot Your Cousin
33. Frankie Cosmos - Zentropy
32. Nothing - Guilty of Everything
31. Freddie Gibbs and Mablib - Pinata

30. Have a Nice Life - The Unnatural World
29. Ought - More Than Any Other Day
28. Merchandise - After the End
27. Steve Gunn - Way Out Weather
26. Sylvan Esso - Sylvan Esso

25. Lydia Ainsworth - Right From Real
24. Parquet Courts - Sunbathing Animal
23. The Antlers - Familiars
22. Cloud Nothings - Here and Nowhere Else
21. Spoon - They Want My Soul

20. Step Brothers - Lord Steppington 
19. Actress  - Ghettoville
18. Real Estate - Atlas
17. Hundred Waters - The Moon Rang Like a Bell
16. Beck - Morning Phase

15. Marissa Nadler - July
14. Common - Nobody's Smiling
13. The Men - Tomorrow's Hits
12. St. Vincent - St. Vincent
11. Ty Segall - Manipulator

10. Mac Demarco - Salad Days
  9. Wye Oak - Shriek
  8. D'Angelo and the Vanguard - Black Messiah
  7. Sharon Van Etten - Are We There
  6. Damien Jurado - Brothers and Sisters of the Eternal Son

  5. Pure X - Angel
  4. Sun Kil Moon - Benji
  3. The War on Drugs - Lost in the Dream
  2. Run the Jewels - Run the Jewels 2
  1. Angel Olsen - Burn Your Fire for No Witness

DANGER! your band's been hijacked.

I need to rant a little bit about the Black Keys. Not so much about the Black Keys but about Danger Mouse. Ok, maybe both. I was first turned on to the Black Keys after they were three albums deep into their career. To this day Rubber Factory remains my favorite album in their catalogue. I was delighted to find The Big Come Up and thickfreakness and mostly enjoyed Magic Potion but when they were said to be working with Danger Mouse, the highly touted but mostly boring mind behind the epic Jay-Z/Beatles mash-up The Grey Album, I was skeptical. When I listened to their work together on Attack & Release I tried hard to be a believer. Songs like "Oceans and Streams" and "I Got Mine" gave me hope that the band had not abandoned the basement blues sound of their previous albums but over-produced snoozers like "Psychotic Girl" and the lead single "Strange Times" made it obvious that Danger Mouse was having too large an influence over their sound. That being said, it was different than what they had done before and that, coupled with the hiring of a highly popular outside producer in Danger Mouse, seemed to be enough to garner a larger audience. Fine.

I will admit that since Attack & Release I have become one of this people who says things like, "I knew this band before anyone else was listening to them" (an obvious lie to myself since I've already told you my first exposure to them came on their third album). What attracted to the band in the first place was their gritty, rawness. It was not surprising to learn that Attack & Release was the first album the band recorded in a professional studio. I liked that their prior records sounded dirty, or "unprofessional." Then along came Danger Mouse and ruined everything. Now, after releasing their fourth album with Danger Mouse at the helm, I've almost lost all interest in the band. I pick and choose songs from Brothers and  El Camino, which is probably their biggest commercial hit. I've been doing the same with their latest, Turn Blue. And when I heard "Year in Review" I nearly popped a blood vessel in my brain. Where is the damn guitar? This is a band that cites Howlin' Wolf and Robert Johnson as inspirations. And I had to actually try to hear the guitar. It's a catchy enough song but this band used to tear it up! In fact, four tracks earlier on the album opener "Weight of Love" I was practically giddy with guitar ruffage. I could only come to the conclusion that he'd finally done it, that Danger Mouse had completed his evil plan to take control of my beloved grease grinding, steel plowing, dust wielding, guitar bleeding band and turned them into lifeless, soul-less monotone drones like he has with so many other acts.

So folks, if you're U2 fans I suggest that you band together and intervene now because Danger Mouse has his sights set on your favorite band and he won't rest until he's sucked the fun out of them. 

Here's how the Black Keys used to sound:

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/zfoNfTXgGzk" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

best of 2013

You ever notice how impatient we are when waiting for things to finish or conclude? And then, when whatever it is we're waiting for finally arrives we very quickly move on to the next thing that needs to be done and start to impatiently wait for that? Like, "I'm looking forward to getting this year over with." And then, "I can't wait to see what this next year has to offer." Or, "I'm really looking forward to finishing this semester so that I can graduate." And then, "I can't wait to find a job so that I can make some money." Or, "I'm really looking forward to the day that my daughter learns to walk." And then, "I can't wait until my daughter can do whatever next thing is developmentally appropriate."

This past year I found myself doing a lot of that. Complete self-disclosure - I started making a list of the best albums of 2013 in January. This year more than ever before I have compiled a list more out of obligation than anything else. I have thought, "I'm looking forward to the end of the year so that I can write a post about it." And I have already caught myself wondering what albums will make my list next year. The problem here is a rather obvious one - in focusing so much on results or conclusions it's easy to miss things in the present, in the here and now.  This is, of course, not the first time I've had to learn this lesson. I've done my fair share of waiting and held my fair share of regret about the things I've missed in my impatience. I suspect that it is a lesson that I will spend most of my life trying to learn. After all, there are an unending number of things to distract us from the here and now.

In reviewing the albums on my list for 2013 I have found there are things that I missed. There are records that I wished I had spent more time with, some that made the list and some that didn't. I suspect that if I'd taken more time with Modern Vampires of the City that I would have valued it more. The same could be said for several others in the list below. Over the last week or so I tried to make up for lost time and have been reminded just how great some of the music of 2013 was. In compiling the list, I've simply put the albums I spent the most time with at the top. If I made this list again next week it would likely be different. My hope is that maybe somebody will discover something new, something worth spending time with in the here and now. And if not, there is sure to be more in the weeks, months and year to come.

50. Oddisee - Tangible Dream

49. The Belle Game - Ritual Tradition Habit

48. Mitzi - Truly Alive

47. Unknown Mortal Orchestra - II

46. Deafheaven - Sunbather

45. Colin Stetson - New History Warfare Vol. 3: To See More Light

44. William Tyler - Impossible Truth

43. Fuck Buttons - Slow Focus

42. Baths - Obsidian

41. Washed Out - Paracosm

40. Braids - Flourish//Perish

39. Pure X - Crawling Up the Stairs

38. My Bloody Valentine - mbv

37. Kanye West - Yeezus

36. Boards of Canada - Tomorrow's Harvest

35. Glasser - Interiors 

34. Nightlands - Oak Island

33. Arcade Fire - Reflektor

32. Bonobo - The North Borders

31. Quadron - Avalanche

30. Thee Oh Sees - Floating Coffin

29. Janelle Monae - The Electric Lady

28. Elvis Costello and The Roots - Wise Up Ghost

27. Vampire Weekend - Modern Vampires of the City

26. Autre Ne Veut - Anxiety

25. The Men - New Moon

24. Chance The Rapper - Acid Rap

23. Denison Witmer - Denison Witmer 

22. Neko Case - The Worse Things Get, The Harder I Fight, The Harder I Fight, The More I Love You

21. Deerhunter - Monomania

20. Darkside - Psychic

19. James Blake - Overgrown

18. Yuck - Glow and Behold 

17. Local Natives - Humming Bird
16. Justin Timberlake - The 20/20 Experience

15. Queens of the Stone Age - ...Like Clockwork

14. Mutual Benefit - Love's Crushing Diamond

13. Blood Orange - Cupid Deluxe

12. The Knife - Shaking the Habitual 

11. Forest Swords - Engravings

10. Parquet Courts - Light Up Gold

  9. Phosphorescent - Muchacho

  8. Kurt Vile - Wakin On a Pretty Daze

  7. Kelela - Cut 4 Me

  6. Mikal Cronin - MCII 

  5. Rhye - Woman

  4. Steve Gunn - Time Off

  3. Danny Brown - Old

  2. Run the Jewels - Run the Jewels

  1. The National - Trouble Will Find Me

strange, indeed.

When I'm home with my soon-to-be two-year old daughter we usually listen to music during mealtimes, mostly as a way to preserve my sanity while she tosses food all over the kitchen but also because I enjoy exposing her to a variety of singers and sounds. This morning while she was slinging oatmeal we were soothed by Billie Holiday's Ultimate Collection and I found myself impatiently awaiting "Strange Fruit" because, I confess, it is really the only Holiday song that I am familiar with. Beyond that it's also beautiful and sorrowful and haunting and powerful and emotional and just about everything I think good music should be. When the wait was finally over and the first few notes started playing I said to my daughter, "This is a great, great song, my dear." I imagined that someday she might agree. 

About halfway through the song, however, it occurred to me that before she would grow to truly appreciate this song and its sentiment I would have to explain to her the history of pain and suffering that the song so poetically captures. This realization made my heart hurt. There is no way to shield her from the shame and guilt she is likely to feel as a white person in this country. There is no way to erase the immense suffering that has occurred throughout history and still lives with all of us to this day. I'll have to try and help her makes sense of this. I suppose that I consider this an honor, and my hope is that someday she will allow herself to feel ashamed, to feel responsible in some way and to experience forgiveness. My hope is that someday she will hear "Strange Fruit" and will know a deeper empathy for those that have suffered at the hands of white people. My hope is she will use that empathy to ensure she prevents such suffering from occurring again. 

the cold.

The link between music and emotion is such a great mystery. I'm speaking strictly from a listener's perspective, although the ability to create music as an outlet for emotion is a pretty mysterious process. But for me, what makes a truly great song is one which evokes an emotional reaction. I'm not going to pretend as if I only feel sadness or sorrow in the winter when the skies are grey and the wind feels so cruel but if I let it, the coldness of winter often cuts its way inside of me. I have found myself trying to choose music that echoes this coldness and sorrow. I have been seeking an empathetic harmony or a chord that speaks of deep sadness. I have found several, while taking care not to select recordings that seem to leave no room for hope. Because even in my darkest night I have somehow managed to cling to a tiny thread of hope.

Mount Eerie - Ocean Roar (2012)

You're in the midst of a driving rain storm. It is after dark. The highway is a blur. Between the wind and water and brake lights there is chaos. "Pale Lights" serves as a guide. It swirls and thrashes, much like the rest of the album. But it also gets quiet and demands focus. Throughout this album there are periods of desolation, peace and madness.

Low - Things We Lost in the Fire (2001)

There are few others that know how to capture the beauty and the lure of the darkness. A trusty companion when stepping into the shadows. Their voices sound so good that it hurts. They sing of sweetness while playing sadness. They lament ("Dinosaur Act"), name call ("Whore") and beg for grace ("Laser Beam"). Their quiet restraint demands reflection and seeks honesty.

Portishead - Roseland NYC Live (1998)

Few hold the cold the way that they do. There is longing in every line. This is one of those rare live recordings that manages to make the songs sound better than the studio tracks. The shadows are alive here. At one turn they are stabbing ("Cowboys"), at another they are practically crying ("Roads"). How can it all feel good? "Strangers" leaves you suspecting that those shadows are more powerful than you first believed.

The National - High Violet (2010)

They are telling your story. They are reading your thoughts and reshaping them as riddles. They are up late and drunk with "Sorrow" (It's in my honey, it's in my milk). Tragedy, fear, regret, loss, debt - the American dream. It's all very mixed up. But they are trying, with each defeat and in the face of dysfunction. With "Little Faith" they are trying.

Fever Ray - Fever Ray (2009)

Do you know how long the darkness lasts during Scandinavian winters? Look it up. It's a long time. As one half of the Knife, Karin Dreijer Andersson makes beautifully bizarre electronic music. As Fever Ray she does much of the same. It's twisted and at times spooky ("If I Had a Heart"). Her voice is everywhere, traveling through twilight and over the snow covered darkness. Yet, at times she almost seems playful despite the absence of the sun. Brewed in the shadows with memories of the light, a sense of return is almost ever present.

Genius/GZA - Liquid Swords (1995)

Besides perhaps some of El-P's work, I cannot think of a colder rap record. This is living in the streets, fighting for a dollar, unsure of friend or foe type of cold. And the centerpiece is "Cold World" which captures the utter hopelessness that exists in the inner city. This is a lonely, wind-blown wasteland. The gritty, leaky basement production that is undeniably Wu-Tang has never communicated so much on its own. There is no filler, no wasted breath. There is only a single minded focus on survival and the dark deeds that are required to ensure it.

M83 - Dead Cities, Red Seas and Lost Ghosts (2004)

Look at the cover art. Are they dead? Or maybe they're taking a break to admire the endless grey sky and falling snow? Perhaps they're just making snow angels? The music will not provide many clues. It seems all three could be true. Soaring over mountains and tumbling into valleys, making what has become traditionally epic electronic soundscapes, you are forced to feel the frozen grass and bleakness of the plains while clinging to the hope that the trees and the hills beyond hold more warmth. "On a White Lake, Near a Green Mountain" turns into "Run Into Flowers" or vice versa.

as required. (best of 2012)

I don't know what to say, really. Just another life altering year. Became a father. Quit my job. Read many books and took many tests and wrote many papers. Said lots of quick prayers. Moved into a new apartment. Spent time with friends, old and new. Did not devote any time whatsoever to this here blog. But the year is coming to a close and now I am required to provide a list of what I consider to be the best 50 albums of 2012. This was a great year for rap music. I suggest to you that hip-hop is not yet dead. I said this last year, I wish that I had more time to write about each and every one of these 50, but I have diapers to change and bottles to prepare. Here is the run down, from the least favorite to the most adored. Enjoy.

50. Allah-Las - Allah-Las
49. Twin Shadow - Confess
48. JJ Doom - Key to the Cuffs
47. Bobby Womack - The Bravest Man in the Universe
46. Pond - Beard, Wives, Denim 

45. Exitmusic - Passage
44. Father John Misty - Fear Fun
43. Now, Now - Threads
42. Common - The Dreamer, The Believer
41. Nas - Life is Good

40. Alt-J - An Awesome Wave
39. Hospitality - Hospitality 
38. Mount Eerie - Ocean Roar
37. Menomena - Moms
36. Melody's Echo Chamber - Melody's Echo Chamber

35. The Mynabirds - Generals
34. Animal Collective - Centipede Hz 
33. Dirty Projectors - Swing Lo Magellan
32. Joey Bada$$ - 1999
31. Cody ChesnuTT - Landing on a Hundred

30. Lilacs and Champagne - Lilacs and Champagne
29. Aesop Rock - Skelethon
28. M. Ward - Wasteland Companion
27. Bowerbirds - The Clearing
26. First Aid Kit - The Lion's Roar

25. Chairlift - Something
24. Lotus Plaza - Spooky Action at a Distance
23. Oh No - Ohnomite
22. Action Bronson - Blue Chips
21. Fiona Apple - The Idler Wheel is Wiser Than the Driver of the Screw and Whipping Cords Will Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do

20. Flying Lotus - Until the Quiet Comes
19. Tennis - Young and Old
18. Lower Dens - Nootropics
17. Lambchop - Mr. M
16. Damien Jurado - Maraqopa

15. Bat For Lashes - The Haunted Man
14. Grizzly Bear - Shields
13. El-P - Cancer 4 Cure
12. Purity Ring - Shrines
11. Godspeed You! Black Emperor - Allelujah! Don't Bend! Ascend!

10. Cloud Nothings - Attack on Memory
 9. Kendrick Lamar - Good Kid, m.A.A.d. City
 8. Sharon Van Etten - Tramp
 7. DIIV - Oshin
 6. Killer Mike - R.A.P. Music

 5. Ty Segall Band - Slaughterhouse
 4. Andrew Bird - Break it Yourself
 3. Shearwater - Animal Joy
 2. Frank Ocean - Channel Orange
 1. Beach House - Bloom

same old, same old.

I feel old. When I listen to new rap music these days and I feel like I'm missing something. I start to say things like, is this all they have to talk about? Drugs. Money. Guns. Derogatory terms for women. When I was a teenager rap and hip-hop was virtually all I listened to. Back then I would have argued with anyone who spoke out against the anger, the violence and the negativity that existed in rap music. To me, rap music was about stories. Not just stories -  true stories from people who had lived completely different lives than me but still wanted the same things: to be understood, to be loved and to be secure. Perhaps that's still true. If it is, however, the stories that I hear in most of today's music feels entirely out of touch with the present state of our nation. I have found myself being drawn to those artists who have figured out a way to tell their story, use their talent and sellout shows without relying on the same tired old formula that Puff Daddy made popular in the '90s. What I've found is that these artists have been around for a while, and I guess that's part of what makes me feel old. The Roots, Common, Nas, Killer Mike, El-P,  and Shabazz Palaces ("Butterfly" from Digable Planets), are a few that still hold my interest.

As sort of an effort to find something new, I have chosen to revisit something old. There are several albums that I keep coming back to and I can't help but wonder if the era in which most of them were recorded will go down as the last golden age of hip-hop. I've wondered if Nas was right, that hip-hop is virtually dead. I don't get A$AP Rocky or Drake or Whiz Kalifa or even Lil Wayne. When I listen to most new rap music what I hear has either all been said before or it's not worth saying at all. See my old post on Raekwon for further rants on this subject. I need some substance. So these are the records that have had things to say to me and have continued to speak.

A Tribe Called Quest - The Low End Theory
This was the very first rap tape that I ever bought (if you don't count Kris Kross' Totally Krossed Out) and I really had no idea what I was getting into. I don't know what prompted me to buy it or made me think that I would like it. But it ended up changing the way I listen to music forever. It was the perfect entry into rap music for me - a subtle introduction to inner city life and the rap music industry that manged to be light-hearted and serious at the same time. I don't believe that I would have any interest in jazz if it weren't for this album. Between this and Digable Planets' Blowout Comb (more on that to come) I was primed for Miles Davis and Pharoah Sanders.

Nas - Illmatic
It's a classic. Everyone knows it. I can't say anything about it that hasn't already been said. From  front to back it's probably the strongest rap album of all time. And it's straight to the point. There is no filler and no fluff. Say what you want about the Nas records that followed all you need to do is listen to "One Love" to know he's one of the greatest rappers of all time (and it doesn't hurt that Q-Tip gives the production some of his jazzy flavor).

Outkast - ATLiens

I'm one of those people who prides themselves on the fact that they listened to Southerplayalisticadillacmuzik when Andre 3000 was just plain old "Dre" and no one had any idea who he was. While ATLiens was a bit of a departure from their debut in my opinion it is their strongest album to date. I was comfortable with them dropping the gangster sensibilities and becoming more reflective. I mean who else could get away with humming a chorus ("Millennium") or making a rap song without any beat ("E.T. [Extraterrestrial]"). I committed the lyrics of "Elevators (Me & You)" to memory and proudly recited them to every English-speaking Romanian that I met while overseas in 1996. I could still give you Dre's last verse in full.

Goodie Mob - Soul Food

It's hard to believe that this is where Cee-Lo Green got started. Well, maybe not entirely. Well paired with fellow Dungeon Family mates Outkast, the Goodie Mob sorta put southern rap music on the map with this one. They coined the phrase "dirty south" for goodness sake. But while they were telling tells of drugs and poverty, it was also clear that these dudes were from the Bible belt. Also, they made a song about food.

EMPD - Strictly Business

It's all about the samples. They certainly weren't the first use samples but you could probably make an argument that they were the first use them in this way. Folks made a big deal about the samples used on Watch the Throne last year (Otis Redding, James Brown, Nina Simone, etc.) but they were only impressive because of steep price of the royalties and the total lack of necessesity. EPMD managed to sample folks like Eric Clapton, ZZ Top, Steve Miller, Pink Floyd, Michael Jackson, Kool & the Gang, Aretha Franklin, Rick James, Otis Redding, Zapp and themselves (over and over) in ways that would make Puff Daddy's head explode. They were used to craft songs and attract the ears of those who undoubtedly recognized their source. It's a total embodiment of what makes rap music entertaining.

Souls of Mischief - '93 Til Infinity

It's a bit difficult to explain this one. I just like it. The beats are comprised of jazz/funk. The lyrics  stand out as a stark contrast to the west coast gangsta rap that was being pumped out in 1993. I always felt like the sound of the album was more New York than California. This was of course during a period of rap music when it was usually easy to tell what part of the country a record was produced in. In a group of four MCs, the flow from one verse to the next is virtually seamless. It's that cohesion which made Souls of Mischief much easier to listen to than the Hieroglyphics collective to which they belonged.

GZA - Liquid Swords 

From the release of Enter the Wu-Tang I was a Clan junkie. I couldn't get enough (there are periods even now when that is still true). While some might tell you that Only Built 4 Cuban Linx or Ironman are the best solo releases from the Wu they would be wrong. I feel dirty every time I do this but if you want to read more on why this album is probably one of the greatest of all time then you should check out the Pitchfork review of the chess box deluxe reissue. The production is perfect. The guest spots from other Wu members are perfect. The Genius is perfect. The only thing I never quite understood was the Killah Priest cut at the end of the album. Despite that, the GZA paints a vivid picture of the streets, the industry pitfalls and the drug trade with the tone and demeanor of a veteran. "Shadowboxin'" will always be right. Always.

Digable Planets - Blowout Comb

Honestly, to this day I don't think I have any idea what the hell they're talking about most of the time. Creamy spies? Huh? But it doesn't matter. It just sounds so funky. Much like The Low End Theory the production on this album had a great impact on me. It's just such an overwhelmingly cool record.

The Roots - Things Fall Apart

Whether they intended it to be or not, this was the tipping point - not The Tipping Point. "You Got Me" put them into everyone's homes and the success of this record is responsible for the genre bending force of nature that is The Roots today. Each track out does the previous one. It's just a progression of sound and lyricism that was organic and unexpected at the same time. Despite featuring their first sample ("Without a Doubt") the changes they were undergoing here feel much more like a realization of their talent as opposed to a compromise. Also, "Double Trouble" is some of my all time favorite back and forth rhyming of all time.

Common - Be

I wanted more of Like Water For Chocolate. I wanted Kanye West to bring rap music back the '90s, to the heyday of soul and funk samples. I got what I wanted in Be. Arguably Common's best effort, everything about it is just right. There are times when it feels like Kanye's beats are simply going to the highest bidder. This is not one of them. The whole show is tailored and contoured for Common Sense. I'm not saying the dude is old but he's not new to the game and the vintage soul cooked up for this album fit him perfectly. "Faithful" and "Testify" would have been enough for me to declare this one of my favorite lyrical albums but fortunately there is so much more. I never understood why "They Say" was not a huge hit.

I have to stop here. As I was writing this entry I continually asked myself why I listen to rap music so much. The only answer that I could up with is that it feels necessary as a way of continuing my understanding of the human condition, in almost the same way that I refuse to give up on the political process. To abandon it would be to abandon a certain insight into our culture.